Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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