WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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