Screwed.edu
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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