Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
