All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
