I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
