MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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