just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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