When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
