the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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