So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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