You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
