I have demons in me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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