I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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