i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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