At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
