I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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