Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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