I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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