Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
