Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
