yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
