Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
