y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my being single is dangerous.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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