Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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