just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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