you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
