The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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