If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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