We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
