ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
