Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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