I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
