Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
