i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize