I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
