I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
