It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
