So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need to calm my uterus...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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