im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
