So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
