grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
