I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i will never coherently bang her
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
