Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
