my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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