Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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