I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
