I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just threw up on my dentist
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
