i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
