its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
