You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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