also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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