I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no. you can't hotbox the world.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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