I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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